Tag Archives: relationship advice

You probably spend a lot of time talking about men with your girlfriends. You get support, but why not add the knowledge of a dating & relationship coach?

In this 2 hour event, you’ll have the same feeling of a girls’ night but with guidance and tips from Anita’s expertise. Your Night In is customized to fit the needs of you and your girlfriends. Every woman will receive a questionnaire prior to the event to ensure you get the most of your evening together.

Do you wonder why you’re not attracting the right guy? Do you worry you’ll be alone forever? Can’t seem to communicate well with your man? Whether you and your girlfriends are dating or in a relationship, you’ll receive practical advice and tools to get the kind of love life you want.

Contact Anita at anita@relationshipreality312.com or 312.399.1635 to reserve your spot. Drinks and snacks will be provided.

You probably spend a lot of time talking about men with your girlfriends. You get support, but why not add the knowledge of a dating & relationship coach?

In this 2 hour event, you’ll have the same feeling of a girls’ night but with guidance and tips from Anita’s expertise. Your Night In is customized to fit the needs of you and your girlfriends. Every woman will receive a questionnaire prior to the event to ensure you get the most of your evening together.

Do you wonder why you’re not attracting the right guy? Do you worry you’ll be alone forever? Can’t seem to communicate well with your man? Whether you and your girlfriends are dating or in a relationship, you’ll receive practical advice and tools to get the kind of love life you want.

Contact Anita at anita@relationshipreality312.com or 312.399.1635 to reserve your spot. Drinks and snacks will be provided.

You probably spend a lot of time talking about men with your girlfriends. You get support, but why not add the knowledge of a dating & relationship coach?

In this 2 hour event, you’ll have the same feeling of a girls’ night but with guidance and tips from Anita’s expertise. Your Night In is customized to fit the needs of you and your girlfriends. Every woman will receive a questionnaire prior to the event to ensure you get the most of your evening together.

Do you wonder why you’re not attracting the right guy? Do you worry you’ll be alone forever? Can’t seem to communicate well with your man? Whether you and your girlfriends are dating or in a relationship, you’ll receive practical advice and tools to get the kind of love life you want.

Contact Anita at anita@relationshipreality312.com or 312.399.1635 to reserve your spot. Drinks and snacks will be provided.

You probably spend a lot of time talking about men with your girlfriends. You get support, but why not add the knowledge of a dating & relationship coach?

In this 2 hour event, you’ll have the same feeling of a girls’ night but with guidance and tips from Anita’s expertise. Your Night In is customized to fit the needs of you and your girlfriends. Every woman will receive a questionnaire prior to the event to ensure you get the most of your evening together.

Do you wonder why you’re not attracting the right guy? Do you worry you’ll be alone forever? Can’t seem to communicate well with your man? Whether you and your girlfriends are dating or in a relationship, you’ll receive practical advice and tools to get the kind of love life you want.

Contact Anita at anita@relationshipreality312.com or 312.399.1635 to reserve your spot. Drinks and snacks will be provided.

If there’s one thing that pains me to hear from my female clients, it’s that the guy they’re dating is scared of commitment. In the dating stage it may look like inconsistent contact, last minute get togethers or booty calls. In a relationship, it may mean waiting to hear “I love you,” not moving in together or not getting engaged.

Yes ladies, you will meet men who don’t want a relationship or marriage…just yet. But it’s not even most men. In fact, men want love and a long-lasting relationship just as much as women do.

Sometimes love comes down to a numbers game. It’s unrealistic to think that every man you meet is at the right stage in his life to want a serious relationship or even marriage. It doesn’t make him a jerk. It just means you have to keep looking.

Here are five reasons men won’t commit:

  1. He’s not ready. Not being ready for a serious relationship doesn’t mean that he’s scared of commitment. It’s literally because he’s not ready. Hey may still want to play the field, concentrate on his career or needs to focus on family obligations. Men take their role as provider very seriously, and I’ve worked with many men who only casually date and put off serious relationships because they’re not where they want to be financially. He may also want to have experiences or work on himself first before he gets into a serious relationship. Timing matters, and a guy who’s not ready is not going to be able to give you what you need in a relationship.
  2. He’s terrified of making the wrong choice. Men are scared that the stories they hear about wedded hell are true: the ball and chain, not getting laid anymore, being with a controlling woman, etc. He may have doubts about your behaviors, like you being overly jealous or how you handle your anger. He may have thought his ex was “The One” but made the wrong choice once already. The pain and doubts may keep him from committing.
  3. He can’t see a future with you. A guy may not know if you’re going to be his future wife, but at least he knows if it’s even a possibility. He may be keeping you around because he likes you for the short-term, but he doesn’t see himself with you for decades. Plain and simple, he’s just not that into you.
  4. He’s scared of rejection. Ever feel like your man keeps you at arm’s length? Has a wall up or don’t feel as connected as you did when you first started dating? Again, most men want to feel connected to their woman, but to deepen intimacy requires one to be vulnerable. That can be downright scary. He may be thinking, Will she really accept me? When she knows me, will she still love me and want to be with me? If he’s not sure of the answer, he may keep from committing. You can reinforce the things you admire and accept about him to decrease this fear.
  5. He’s scared of divorce. We’ve heard horror stories about divorce. And if a guy has gone through his parents’ painful divorce and he hasn’t worked through it, he’s probably still scarred. Committing involves risk, and some guys may not do so until they’re 100% certain the relationship will work. The thing is, relationships are never a guarantee. But both of you have incredible influence over the outcome of your future, and that may mean getting some relationship education from a workshop or a professional.

For those of you waiting for your man to commit, it’s up to you to decide how patient you can be. At least have the conversation with your man about your future to see if your visions and goals align. If not, then move on to someone who will want you in his future.

 

 

You probably spend a lot of time talking about men with your girlfriends. You get support, but why not add the knowledge of a dating & relationship coach?

In this 2 hour event, you’ll have the same feeling of a girls’ night but with guidance and tips from Anita’s expertise. Your Night In is customized to fit the needs of you and your girlfriends. Every woman will receive a questionnaire prior to the event to ensure you get the most of your evening together.

Do you wonder why you’re not attracting the right guy? Do you worry you’ll be alone forever? Can’t seem to communicate well with your man? Whether you and your girlfriends are dating or in a relationship, you’ll receive practical advice and tools to get the kind of love life you want.

Contact Anita at anita@relationshipreality312.com or 312.399.1635 to reserve your spot. Drinks and snacks will be provided.

You probably spend a lot of time talking about men with your girlfriends. You get support, but why not add the knowledge of a dating & relationship coach?

In this 2 hour event, you’ll have the same feeling of a girls’ night but with guidance and tips from Anita’s expertise. Your Night In is customized to fit the needs of you and your girlfriends. Every woman will receive a questionnaire prior to the event to ensure you get the most of your evening together.

Do you wonder why you’re not attracting the right guy? Do you worry you’ll be alone forever? Can’t seem to communicate well with your man? Whether you and your girlfriends are dating or in a relationship, you’ll receive practical advice and tools to get the kind of love life you want.

Contact Anita at anita@relationshipreality312.com or 312.399.1635 to reserve your spot. Drinks and snacks will be provided.

You probably spend a lot of time talking about men with your girlfriends. You get support, but why not add the knowledge of a dating & relationship coach?

In this 2 hour event, you’ll have the same feeling of a girls’ night but with guidance and tips from Anita’s expertise. Your Night In is customized to fit the needs of you and your girlfriends. Every woman will receive a questionnaire prior to the event to ensure you get the most of your evening together.

Do you wonder why you’re not attracting the right guy? Do you worry you’ll be alone forever? Can’t seem to communicate well with your man? Whether you and your girlfriends are dating or in a relationship, you’ll receive practical advice and tools to get the kind of love life you want.

Contact Anita at anita@relationshipreality312.com or 312.399.1635 to reserve your spot. Drinks and snacks will be provided.

Dear Anita,

I was dating this guy for almost a year and he just dumped me. It took me by surprise and now I’m struggling. I think my friends are tired of hearing about him. It’s been three months since the breakup but I can’t get over it. Can you give me some tips to get over him please?

– Julia in Chicago

 

Hi Julia,

Being dumped by surprise can be one of the worst feelings. You can’t focus at work or school, you become obsessed with memories of your ex, and you lose your appetite. When my clients come to me in these kinds of situations, I find that tips with specific actions are extremely helpful. Here are a few to get you started:

 

  1. Date. I know it’s sometimes the last thing people want to do after a breakup, but there are so many men out there for you to go out and have fun with without the expectation of a serious relationship. Just be upfront about your intentions. You can tell your potential dates that you’re casually dating or wanting to explore the city, but aren’t looking for anything serious. Those who have similar intentions will stay in the game.
  1. Fill your time. If you used to make dinner with your ex every Sunday night, plan an activity that you’ll look forward to until the pain of Sunday nights subsides. Get together with your friends, volunteer, take a class, or catch up on your favorite shows. Fill that time that you used to spend with him doing something fun or productive. Some of my clients know when they’ll have idle time so they ask their friends to hang out – and promise not to bring up the ex!
  1. Plan for weak moments. You’ll have your weak moments when you may want to contact your ex. Have a go-to plan in place – exercise, call a friend, distract yourself with work, pick up a book, etc. And whatever you do, don’t cyber-stalk! You’ll be upset if you see something you don’t like or can’t explain – “Who is that girl in that photo with him?” Even better, unfriend him on Facebook if you haven’t already done so and if necessary, block him so you won’t sneak a peek. Also, allow your friends to take your phone away at times of weakness.
  1. Keep count. If you’re an “out of sight, out of mind” person this won’t work. But if you’re not, use a calendar to keep track of the days you’ve gone without contact. Having a visual reminder can also keep you from reaching out.
  1. Remember why you broke up. Visual reminders can be extremely helpful. Keep a list or use sticky notes with the reasons why you broke up in the first place. Leave them in your purse, put them on your nightstand or hang them on your fridge. Were there any red flags that you missed? Write those down and look at them often. If you had friends who disliked your ex, this would be a good time for them to remind you how much they disliked him.
  1. Avoid your relationship haunts.It’s ok to avoid your usual hangouts until you feel better. It doesn’t mean your ex has power over you, it means you’re paying attention to your emotions and doing what’s best for you in the moment.
  1. Get out of routine. Getting out of routine can elevate mood. Whether it’s taking up a new hobby, trying different restaurants, or taking a trip to a place you’ve never been, these little and big ways can make you feel happier, which can also give you hope that you can happily move on.

Although time can heal all wounds, it’s what you do with that time that can be a key difference to you healing more quickly.