One evening my boyfriend came over, and stopped at Chipotle on his way to bring me some dinner. He texted me to see what I wanted. My brief responses of “chicken taco” and “you know what I want” apparently didn’t help him too much, because he didn’t get my order right. I wondered, “How could … Continue reading Why You Should Know Each Other’s Chipotle Orders →

Have you ever had – what you considered – a great date, and then you never heard from the guy again? Then you start thinking about everything that you said, how you “blew it,” what you did to scare him away and so on. You may even reach out to your friends, divulging every detail … Continue reading Stop Doing This After a Date →

Featured in the Chicago edition of Attorney at Law Magazine: When I argue with my spouse, she complains I am treating her like a witness I am cross-examining. She gets defensive and the tension escalates. Nothing ever fully resolves and we both shut down. I feel like we now avoid arguments rather than solve them. … Continue reading Communication Win-Win →

A common problem presented to me is, “Anita, I love my partner, but I’m just not in love with them anymore.” Usually my clients don’t realize that they were active participants in falling out of love by the choices they made over the course of their relationship. Frequent pitfalls they seem to experience include:   … Continue reading How to Fall Out of Love →

He’s someone I work with. I didn’t think much of him at first. We talked a little but mostly just went out for lunch with other coworkers. After awhile we broke off from the group and the two of us starting going out to lunch together. Then we started talking outside of work, mostly just … Continue reading Sexless Affair or Just a Friendship? →

You finally met someone. You’ve had several email and text exchanges, and maybe you’ve even talked on the phone or had a date or two. You think this person is great, and you wonder if he could be “The One”? The only problem is, you barely even know the guy. Have you ever built a … Continue reading Don’t Make This Dating Mistake →

Ok ladies, ‘fess up. Have you been on a great date with a nice guy but he just didn’t do anything for you emotionally? He called when he said he would, confirmed plans, was a gentleman…but nothing in the feelings department. Nada. Zero. Zilch.   So you dump the nice guy and move on. You … Continue reading Why You Really May be Dismissing the Nice Guy →

I can’t believe I’m married to such an idiot. You finished one thing on the list. Do you want an award for being ‘Partner of the Year’? You call that picking up after yourself? Can’t you do anything right? You always spend too much money. Why are you so irresponsible? Can you be any more … Continue reading The Most Toxic Relationship Behavior →

In my last blog I wrote about common myths about cheating. Research indicates that infidelity is on the rise, with more relationships being affected by it. If good people are cheating, how can you tell if your partner (who I’m pretty sure you think is a good person) is cheating on you? It’s not easy … Continue reading Is Your Partner Cheating? →

Are you not seeing eye-to-eye with your partner? Is there hot conflict or icy distance? Do you want your partner to change, but he or she wants you to change? You may have tried to make your relationship better – and sometimes it works, but then you both revert back to your old ways. You … Continue reading How to Pick a Good Couples Therapist →